Being Good

Hi there. My name is Maureen Wambui and I’m a Christian. I love the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour.

I go to church every Sunday. Sometimes I just don’t want to leave the house. When it rains, I just want to burrow deeper under the covers. I leave immediately the service is over. I don’t stick around for the meetings and youth things. Sometimes I feel guilty, but then I remember how awkward and out of place I always feel when I’m around them. We are not friends.

I’m supposed to be a good Christian girl.

I have a tattoo. My parents will probably perform an exorcism when they find out. No, the devil didn’t make me do it. No, I was not held at gunpoint. No, it wasn’t influence from my ‘ bad’ friends. Actually I was the first to get inked among my group of close friends. I knew what I was doing. I did my research and made an informed decision. Yes,I read that Bible verse but I don’t believe I did anything wrong.

I have three piercings. Don’t worry, they are all in my ears. As common as that is, it makes me unique.

I’m not a blind follower. I question everything,I do my research and I follow my heart.

I am not afraid of learning. I read every material, look under every stone and try to untangle every thread. Curiosity is my drug of choice.

I love to read,but I do not always read the Bible. I use my words, but I do not always write about God.

When I sing, the words are not always to praise God. My playlist has more worldly songs.

Sometimes I speak too quickly and judge too harshly. At other times I ignore another’s pain and become selfish. At times the Lord asks me to walk to the right with Him but I still go left out of some misguided notion of independence.

When I pray, I do it quietly. I don’t speak in tongues and I don’t have visions. When they tell me to fight the devil and declare war on the enemy, I bow my head and do so quietly. I never shout because it’s confrontational and I hate conflict. I believe that God still hears my small voice.

Regardless of tribe, race, gender, sexual preference and religion, all of us are equal. I will not hate because I’m told to, that this is what I’m ‘supposed’ to do. I refuse to hate.

I don’t always think pure thoughts. Sometimes I’m ugly and twisted inside. Sometimes it’s just a skin layer away.

I understand most curse words and I get dirty jokes.

I’ve made some questionable choices over the years. I will not apologize for doing what felt right at the time.

I’m human.

Hi there. My name is Maureen Wambui and I’m flawed. I love the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. I am growing, forced to admit that I’m not perfect and can never be. I’m just a work in progress in pursuit of greater Grace.