I look for you. Where did you go? You were with me just yesterday. Why can’t I see you now? I feel your presence here. You are that faint whisper of wind in my ear, that fleeting shadow at the corner of my eye. I always turn around when it’s too late to see you. Do you know why that is?
Where did you go? Were we not having fun? Were we not enjoying ourselves, enjoying our youth,our fleeting mortality? Were we not the best of friends? Was it something I said? I do that sometimes, you know. Give my tongue free rein, say what I mean not, hurt others on purpose. It is all a test, you see. I need to know who’ll stay, who’ll look deep deep down inside of me and see me. All the damaged, self sabotaging, possessive parts of me. Who’ll love me in spite of myself. But you left, just like all the others.
Should I keep looking for you now? Do you really want me to find you? Did you run away, across freezing rivers and fields covered by swirling grey mists, just to get away from me? Or were you dragged, kicking and screaming, over barren wastelands and dead sea, to rot away as the days pass? Are you even now trapped in the furthest corners of my mind, a place I never go to?
Are you just a figment of my imagination?